Wake up will you, listen to me, as I give you every word I have ever loved, painted black like the stained blood of my horror future. I whispered sorry again last night, as I sunk deep into your bedsheets. I come and go as frequently as I ought to, I live and loath as blindly as I nought to. But you are here with me now, so keep up, keep me warm and don’t let me down. Live with me, London. Live through me and I will call you home, but not for the soothing strokes that caress my ego, no. I want your heart, as I give to you my own, ripped out and still bleeding from the thought of another winter alone.
I’m hurting, I’m lost, no motivation… today I pranced around my double room to music, I did that for two hours then watched a film, watched a series and danced some more, then I had a drink, and another, I ate a pizza and I called a lover, not my best day, not my worst. Just another throng in the universe, just another life living to live on, but not fooling anyone, London.
London, I need you now you selfish city, over the last year you took from me everything, and in return I was given nothing, no token, no hope in London. Show me your colours, what do you bleed? Do you stumble and stagger through Victorian streets, hearing the rattles of hooves and the patter of feets, the commuter stampede, and me on my knees, trampled and flattened by your infidelity, your other lovers, millions of ’em.
The wind howls in from the North East, I smell the sea and feel the warmth of mother. How I miss that bitter wind. But my life in London, a city shimmering through the smog, dancing through the sludge, you are quite something are you not. Quite but not quiet, no you never let up. Too fast for me, London, your blood runs too quick for my easy northern veins, you are my adrenaline and my sugar cane, you kiss me wicked then turn away, bad romantic.
You could never love me, could you? You would never hold me after, would you? But still my lust clings with broken bloody finger nails, as I snail trail home backwards, so as to gaze at you as you dissolve away.
I’ll be back sooner than I think, you know this and smile like a sturdy prick. Why do you bite as you kiss? Your arrogance is cursed and your ignorance bliss. I spit on your curb, as I walk down the aisle, blushing and gushing like a trembling child.
I love you, London, go on then, you had me at hello, and now have me till death.