So…I was sat here this morning drinking my coffee with the intent to muster up a new way to motivate and inspire myself so I didn’t fall into mondays stagnant net, when I suddenly felt restless and annoyed….its not something that happens often so it stuck out like a dodgy handle that I couldn’t quite grasp and couldn’t quite explain….I live on my own you see, so there was no one to tap at my nerves or to conveniently blame, so who/what was driving me into a state of annoyance and anxiety? It could only be an aspect of myself? So here I was feeling jangled by “myself”( ? ) and wondering why on earth I was in a spin when the stem came from my own restless mind….what a ridiculous display of a human condition conjuring up an acidic demeanour…when all it takes is holding up a stop sign against thought violation and promptly eradicating it. So I had a peek with a sideways glance through the blueprints in my mind and saw her sat there with a self obsessed face mask and a cigarette crying about injustice and slurring over the delusional walls…yup….”Lady Neurotica” that minx is stealth….she kind of sneaks in and whisks you up into a meringue frenzy and then leaves you to set and get eaten by emotional foodies! She isn’t someone I like to entertain and mostly try to avoid, she’s like the walk of shame from a dysfunctional dalliance…so how the hell did she find her way in? Well….as sorted as we feel and as on top of things as we are the second any attention is given to petulant thoughts she seems to stumble in clutching at anything external to define her… a slippery sucker who creates a net of self pity and a deplorable panel of critics against herself and everyone else! Its an interesting conundrum…that if not caught early can filter through like a cheap espresso and leave you with a caffeine crash…the thing is you cant blame the coffee….when you had a choice whether to drink it or not…the results of the crash are of your own doing….and it seems the only way to truly avoid it is by watching the landslide from the bank and not falling with the rubble.
So what becomes of the illusionary placebo that is Lady Neurotica? She only survives if you immerse her in self adhesive pathways so I cut her some slack and sent her on her way….she is of no real help unless you recognise her and when you do recognise her she is no longer necessary.