April 11, 2021

Inane thoughts by Hugo Danforth

‘My laptop was overheating. To cool it I bought a USB fan. That overheated. Almost blew up the lap top.’

A normal man might have panicked or uttered one of those oaths you hear people in hoodies yell when they run out of cider , but I am made of sterner stuff. There’s an article there, I thought, and what do you know, I was right. There was! Here it is. I hope you are enjoying it!

Let me start at the beginning, in order to use up space. I have to fill this space every issue you know, it’s not easy. The laptop was overheating. I turned it on. It turned itself off. No sense of the correct servant-master relationship. Of course it only felt the need to switch off when I was in the middle of an important article that I hadn’t saved. I’ve started this one seven times already.

Enough’s enough, I said, and ordered a laptop cooling fan. It arrived the very next day! To fit it was the action of a moment, although getting it out of the shrink wrapped plastic took a little longer. I plugged it in to the laptop and a cooling breeze began to play gently across the ever-warming computer. Perfect I thought and started work again.


The laptop shut down with the sound of a sniper settling old scores. Everything smelt of burning. I wondered why I hadn’t backed anything up since 1999.

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