September 18, 2019

The Creative Writing Workshop by Peter Kimber

Chairman

Okay, thanks for the reading Jerry.  Has anybody got some feedback for Jerry?  Don’t all speak at once will you? Well let’s go round the table.  What about you Bobby, is there anything you want to say about the story’s opening?

 

Bobby

I think that when the delegates went into the conference room and found that the table and chairs were fixed to the ceiling Jerry was trying to tell us that the world’s been turned up-side-down.  Using jellyfish aliens to put things right showed that mankind needs external guidance if it’s ever going live in peace with the rest of creation.

 

Chairman

I’m sure that’s right Bobby, but on a technicality, the jellyfish weren’t from another planet.  They were deep sea life forms from the Pacific Ocean.  Does anybody else think that the point of the story could be carried better by using extra-terrestrials?

 

Francis

No, No.  Surely the jellyfish blobs were only used as an example of the way all our decision makers have allowed themselves to be driven by the mob.

 

Malcolm

I agree Francis.  The jelly blobs are incidental.  The whole point of the story is that it took a one-eyed lesbian scientist to provide the solution.  The idea of using Velcro boots so that the guests could walk up the walls and onto the ceiling was brilliant.  It showed that mankind will be able to overcome all the current world problems if only we allow the handicapped gay community to have a proper say in the government.

 

Chairman

It’s a thought Malcolm but, getting down to practicalities, I still don’t see how the people could sit at the table when the chairs were hanging from the ceiling.

 

Margaret

Don’t you remember?  In the first paragraph Jerry cleverly slipped into the dialogue that all the people invited to the conference had to wear special magnetic underpants because of their piles.

 

Chairman

That’s right Margaret, he did, didn’t he.  Did anybody else spot any of the other subtle clues about the way in which this modern fable can be compared with life today?

 

Adam

The section where the chairman gave his opening speech in rhyme reminded me that poetry should be applied to all facets of life.  Poetry’s not just for intellectuals like us, it’s for everybody and the sooner people realise this, the sooner we’ll be able to walk the streets in safety again.

 

Chairman

Yes Adam.  That two page section with unorthodox meter and third, seventh and tenth line rhyme pattern is typical of Jerry at his best.  What about you Jean?  Have you got anything to add before we give Jerry his chance to get back at us?

 

Jean

Well I couldn’t see the point of the last paragraph.  Why do the couple get into the fourposter bed the wrong way round so that the guillotine blade cuts off their feet instead of their heads.

 

Chairman

I would’ve thought that was a return to the opening scene where the meal was eaten from the up-side-down table, showing us that life repeats itself in an eternal, never ending pattern.

Let’s see what Jerry’s got to say, shall we?

Peter Kimber is a retired Technical College Lecturer. He writes short stories which have been published in small press magazines. A selection of his stories can be seen at  www.peterkimber.freeserve.co.uk

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