Cinematic equations to beat the heat: Top 10 summer DVD rentals

10. (Glory days of Julia Roberts a la “Erin Brokovich”) – (the best Actress in a leading role Academy Award statue) + (Phil Collins’ daughter) x [(desperately wishing this was the “Snow White” film adaptation with Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart)/(Disappointed in realising it’s not)] = “Mirror, Mirror” DVD Release June 26

9. (Real life romance of its B-list stars) + Hippies + (Paul Rudd’s wonderful sense of humor) + (Paul Rudd’s wonderful face) x (‘Oh my God?! Is that Alan Alda?!’)(‘It is.’) = “Wanderlust” (DVD Release June 19)

8. (Quirky independent film) + (quirky crushes Ed Helms and Jason Segel) + (inspiring coming of age tale of self revelation and divorce of personal slackery and laziness) / (the pretentious pride of being in touch with all that isn’t mainstream) = “Jeff, Who Lives at Home” (DVD Release June 19)

7. (“Anchorman” in Spanish) + (Ron Burgundy speaking in Spanish) = “Casa de Padre” (DVD Release July 17)

6. “21 Jump Street” + (original cast cameos) + (the comic genius of Jonah Hill) + (the genius body of Channing Tatum) + marajuana = “21 Jump Street” (DVD Release June 26)

5.  Jon Hamm + Kristen Wiig x (the irrelevancy of who else is in the film or what the film is about because the fabulously beautiful one-two comic punch of Hamm-Wiig is involved) = “Friends With Kids” (DVD Release July 17)

4. (Stunning directoral debut of Ralph Finnes) + Billy Shakespeare + modern warfare + (the flawless subteley of Jessica Chastain) + (the steely and seething matriarchal reign of Vanessa Redgrave) = “Coriolanus” (DVD Release May 27)

3. (Hilarious old school English debauchery) + (handsome detectives) + (rejoice for Guy Ritchie being a free man!) = “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” (DVD Release June 12)

2. (Poignant tale of heroicism and survival) + (based on true events) + (narrative chronicling the horrors of Nazi occupied Poland) = “In Darkness” (DVD Release June 12)

1. (Classic throw back to Hollywood’s glory days) + (the most wonderful puppy on the planet) + (why is this theatre so quiet??) + (the French George Clooney) = “The Artist” (DVD Release June 26)