December 19, 2024

Mona Lisa speaks!

Mona, hi! Can I call you Mona?

How many times! My name is Lisa. Lisa di Antonmaria Gherardini

Right, sorry. So you’re definitely not Isabella di Aragona?

I am not Isabella, or Caterina Sforza, or Leonardo himself after a big night out.

What’s Louvre life like?

Awful. Hard to breathe behind the glass. Security guards ignore me, tourists gawp. If I’d known how long I’d be here I’d have worn something more comfortable.

I have heard rumours that you will be moved to a private room. You would prefer that?

If private meant private. But I bet they still let in tourists. Do you have any idea what it is like being stared at all day every day?

You don’t like it?

No.

What was Leonardo like when he painted?

He was too important to do much painting. He did sketch in my eyes, but he left the rest to Andrea.

So your famous mouth wasn’t painted by the master?

If it was do you think it would be so lop-sided? Leonardo was livid when he saw how Andrea had messed it up.

Did you have a go in Leonardo’s helicopter?

That helicopter! He used to fly over Florence in it, pedaling like a loony. You know he died in a helicopter accident? It was hushed up to avoid scandal.

See any other crazy inventions?

He was proud of a machine which let you type in numbers and it added them up for you. I remember he was annoyed that no one had yet invented electricity . You couldn’t smuggle me out could you? I can pay well.

I, erm…

At this point a security guard came over and the interview was ended.

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