Prime Minister’s Questions is the weekly event where – you’ve probably guessed – the Prime Minister has to answer questions. During this half hour show in the House of Commons there are some serious points made. But there is also enough banter and sneering for an unsuspecting visitor from abroad to wonder how the British system of democracy was ever held up as a model of democracy around the world.
PMQs: The weekly structure
This is basically the same whichever party is in power
1. An MP from the Prime Minister’s own party will ask if the PM agrees with them that it is fantastic that something has just happened. The something that has just happened will be be different every week. But it will be something for which the PM can claim (possibly spurious) credit.
2. The PM will thank them and will agree that the something that has just happened is remarkable. He will probably go further and say that not only is it remarkable, it is a sign that everything his party is doing is correct and that is exactly why the electorate had the good sense to elect his party. For good measure he will almost certainly claim that the something that has just happened would never have happened if the opposition were in power.
3. Next an opposition MP will rise to his feet and accuse the Prime Minister of being the cause of everything bad that has ever happened. Sometimes he will be a little more specific than that, quoting some recent statistics that show an indicator over which the PM (in all honesty) has very little control has gone in the wrong direction . He will ask the Prime minster to admit that since he became Prime Minister nothing has gone right, everything has gone badly, everyone is worse off and isn’t it about time he resigned?
4. The PM will quote some statistics that are tangentially relevant and prove that in fact everything is looking better than it ever has since 1066. Not only that, he will also state that if the opposition were in power everything would be ten times worse. Maybe 100 times worse.
4. The Leader of the Opposition will taunt the Prime Minister with a quote from something he said recently that differs slightly from something he said three years ago. Opposition MPs will cheer wildly. This is guaranteed, whatever the Leader of the Opposition actually says.
5. The Prime Minister will avoid the question and instead mention how badly the opposition did something when they were last in power. If possible he will quote a speech the Leader of the Opposition made four years ago. His own side will cheer wildly. This is guaranteed, whatever the PM actually says.
6. Some MPs will ask serious questions.
7. The Prime Minister will promise to look into the specific cases.
8. The Prime Minister will walk out, people slapping him on the back and most of the MPs will exit for an early lunch.
This week Members of Parliament cheered as David Cameron began by congratulating the English football team on making it to the World Cup finals. Westminster also being the government of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, he also commiserated with those nations for not making it. He hoped that everyone would now swing behind the England team…
When the House had recovered from the hilarity engendered by the very idea that Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland fans would now support England, we were into PMQs proper as explained above.
Liam Fox asked about the damage to National Security from the Guardian’s involvement in the Snowdon leaks and pointed out a possible hypocrisy between castigating phone hacking and printing leaks. The PM agreed with him. Surprisingly Milliband started by congratulated the Prime Minister on the fall in unemployment before getting back on track and accusing him of presiding over a time when prices are rising faster than wages. But his praise allowed the PM to ignore the question and list more achievements in the field of living standards, economics, jobs and taxes.
Milliband went back on the attack on energy prices, where the Labour party think they have an advantage. But the attacks don’t quite work as Milliband was energy secretary during the last Labour government. Whatever he says, Cameron merely has to answer If your ideas are so good, why didn’t you implement them when you were energy secretary?
Other subjects that MPs raised included a pardon for Alan Turing, the dangers of payday loans and contaminated blood products in 70s and 80s. As you might expect the Prime Minister promised to look into them all. He’s got another busy week.
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