Stained Desire

a story by: Eugenie Huibonhoa

Years and years came as obstacles in the wind. I could imagine
myself that night. Overwhelmed by hunger, so desperate enough that I would
knock on the most sacred door in the country. Desperate. But so were they. They
took me in- a fragile silhouette carving itself in the depths of twinkling
stars, carried by the compassion in Death. Shivering. Warmth, warmth. A bed.
Too tired to think about the desire that churned within my stomach. She looked
upon me as if I was a blessing; the first to come in many years. Gently,
slowly, the led me- step by step, each faster than the first.————————————————There was so much chatter that even covering my ears could not
keep the whispers from slipping through the space beneath the doors.

“Could she be?”

Something was expected. I wasn’t sure. Fatigue and hunger made
me uneasy. Hunger. Hunger. It was a satisfaction that
needed to be fed. A few more hours. Just a few more. {Silence with me} My heart
thumping against my chest,thump. Thump. Thump. I listened. Slipped.

It caught me by surprise. Under these 20 mattresses? Really? I was
overwhelmed with hunger- I was desperate. 1. The metal was cold against my
bare feet. 5. Just a few more. 8. 15. 5 more. 18. 19. 20.

Slowly, slowly.

Bittersweet. More.

Dizzied with confusion. With years, and years of confusion- the
one connection I had felt.

And am still
feeling. For with that discomfort, I was crowned queen.